Posts in Category: Contemplation

A very full tank

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Over 9 hours later…

A few weekends ago, I took part in my first adventure race in years. Stupidly, I did zero training and I just went into it with a positive outlook and two really great teammates. And you know what? I died.

Yes, we finished the race – well, all 53km that we were able to complete before the cut off point anyway. We fell short of 7km which was the last bit of running. But nevertheless, we did it.

The day after, I could hardly walk. But according to the husband, I was the calmest and happiest I had been in a really long time. He said that my ‘tank’ was full and that I should probably consider doing stuff like this for myself more often.

Not the reaction I thought I’d get. I thought I’d get a ‘whyyy did you leave me and the kids for an entire day?!!’

Life surprises you like that sometimes.

A piece of his past

One very cool thing that was able to happen whilst we were in Vancouver was our meet up with Hubba’s ex-bowling coach, Ron. Ron had pretty much been a secondary father figure to Hubba during his competitive days and I had heard so much about this man and how he taught Andrew many life lessons.

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Having never known the Andrew that most people knew or read of, there always was a missing piece of his past that I never felt I could get a sense of. But seeing his face light up at the sight of Ron and him beaming the entire time just made me light up too. Ron had many kind words and memories to share as well, and this made me feel really happy – to see a side of Andrew that I may not have otherwise seen.

I am really glad we got to meet up. It was such a great day that we completely forgot about the peanut butter he’d brought us from Seattle! Ah well, what’s a bit of peanut butter when you’ve got tonnes to catch up on?

Time is whizzing by

Do you find that as each year passes, life starts to pass you by even quicker than it did previously?

These days, the days and months just fly by. It felt like just the other day I was talking to E about our planning meeting and just like that, it’s over. How is it almost September?

Meanwhile, my girls are growing up fast. Naomi is becoming such a polite little girl and Charlotte such a ray of sunshine. They’re starting to talk and play with each other and there’s no need to prompt them to hug and kiss – they’re so affectionate, they just do it themselves. I sit back sometimes and just take it all in, and watch them interact…

… and a great big smile appears on my face.

And I realise how much I absolutely just love being a mother.

Yes, it might be hectic sometimes but most recently I have discovered that despite how you feel sometimes, they are just such a blessing and I couldn’t be happier about having them in my life. I look at Hubba and I just think, wow. What was life like before? I cannot even recall.

Slow down. Take a deep breath.

Savour the time.

Missing the mountains

It's really hard not to think about Vancouver and miss it a lot.

Is it possible to be soul mates with a place? When I close my eyes and think of the mountains and the clouds, the people and their kindness, the trees and the soul of the forest, it just brings me to a really happy place. I suppose that's a good thing. To have a happy place you can go to in your memories.

This photograph makes me laugh. We'd gone for a little walk that evening and stopped at the bottle shop to get some vino for the dinner that we were going to make in the apartment. Yup, we thought making dinner would be a romantic thing to do seeing as we hardly ever do it back in Singapore anymore! I love that the bottle looks like it's bowing its head in the same direction as Andrew. Deep in contemplation. You know, 'coz life's so hard.

Sigh. Is it possible to be soul mates with a place?

Days go by my window,
World slows down as it goes,
Goodbye to last night,
Lost my eyesight,
Can’t you help me see?

Loving every minute ‘coz you make me feel so alive, alive
Loving every minute ‘coz you make me feel so alive, alive

My Best Subject

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This is probably the best photo I have ever taken in my history with photography. It was taken at Stanley Park in Vancouver last month, when Hubba and I went for a long walk together. We did lots of that. Walking. And sitting on benches.

I find that hilarious – that our pastime of choice was sitting on benches. My theory is that sitting on benches is only for older people or those with children – it’s like a passage of time thing… The seasons of your life. I don’t ever recall us sitting or contemplating as much when we were in Scotland together. We were always off doing or seeing something.

I like it though. And I like that we do it together.

Peek & Place – You’ve Got This

When you come back from a significant trip, it’s easy to talk about where you went, who you were with, what you ate, anything you might have bought.

But the truth is, I came away with a whole lot more than just memories of good food and couple selfies. The real souvenir was a mindset.

Vancouver is an amazing place. I have never seen a more socially aware or responsible society – Recycling is a big thing that everyone does and is conscious of and everyone is incredibly genuine and considerate. I have never seen people more concerned about clearing up after themselves and taking the time to give way or say thank you’s. I have never seen a place more engaged with the great outdoors.  And we were only too lucky to discover it through the eyes of two great friends, Grace & Joe, who are living like the locals, biking to their hearts content and just taking in life.

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Aside from spending a whole week in Whistler hammering down the bike park, we also had the good fortune of spending some time riding the North Shore with them – and met some of their friends & colleagues at Endless Biking.

Endless is a bike rental and tour company – They provide the gear and the guidance to ensure you get the most of your riding at all the different trail networks around North Vancouver. As soon as we arrived, we spent some time with Darren and Eli who gave us a clinic on cornering, and Ryan who took us through a drops session. Joe then spent most of our rides secretly progressing me by taking me to trails that he thought would challenge me to become a better rider.

And boy, did he challenge me!

IMG_3704takeaway 1: big rocks are your friends, not your foes

Every time we headed out, I’d have this feeling of dread inside me. Oh dear, I’m not familiar with where we’re going. What if I can’t do it? What if I hold everyone back?

Joe was really good and super patient. He’d take time out to explain trail sections, re-affirm techniques I had learnt and reassure me sections were do-able. Grace would sometimes ride ahead of me to show me how very elementary it could indeed be. So I always felt completely safe and confident in my abilities – this meant I always did something new skill-wise whenever we went out and pushed myself to a new level each time. I really loved that! It just felt so gratifying to always improve. And both Grace & Joe would be super supportive as well, letting out great big woops and verbal pats on the back whenever I accomplished something. It made me feel so happy and fuzzy inside.

IMG_3639takeaway 2: when nothing hairy’s in sight, get out of the ready position and give your back a break!

IMG_3676takeaway 3: skinnys are fine if you just look ahead

IMG_3605no takeaway here, just that i love riding with my friends :)

IMG_3950bobsled morning with kelli & the guys

On one particular early morning, their lady boss friend Kelli Sherbinin came and rode Mt Fromme with us. I was all nervous since Kelli’s got really hardcore bike cred but just like Joe, she was incredibly supportive and patient in trying to get me to progress. Both Joe, Kelli & Grace – and Andrew too – literally waited ages for me to pluck up the courage to attempt what’s probably a very small rock feature to most at the start of Bobsled. And when I did… Well, I just felt I had to go do it again… and again… and again… and again… So I could get over the fear and know what I was capable of.


(you can hear Kelli whooping at me in the distance!)

Have you ever been so mentally caught up in your head that when you finally get through something, you burst into tears? That’s literally how I felt whenever I cleared something like that, whether it was a skinny bit of woodwork or a technical section. I’d quickly turn away from my friends so they didn’t see how choked up I was – They’d be cheering at me for doing it and I’d be a mix of happy and seriously overwhelmed… and scared! But I loved progressing. It was doing a lot more for me mentally than I could imagine.

One of the phrases they kept using was “Just peek and place, Janice. Trust yourself and commit. You’ve got this.”

It took a lot to do it, but whenever I did I realised how much I could accomplish if I truly set my mind to the task.

A week later, I found myself at a business workshop in Dubai doubting some of my abilities. And guess what the little voice in my head was saying?

“Come on, you’ve got this. Just peek and place, trust the rest.”

You take a whole lot away from the trail each time you ride. I think that’s why I love biking so much.

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For a bit of Mummy inspiration, read: Mother Puckers on PinkBike.com